I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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