Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
