I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
it's great music for shaving your balls
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
