I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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