That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize