You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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