TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
