I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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