I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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