I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
