I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My brain says no but my pants say off.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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