This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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