i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
