Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
