Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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