You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
