omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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