she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
so let's talk penis.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
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it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
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Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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