White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
handjob tips. give me some.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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