No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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