i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize