but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
