I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
