im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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