Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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