I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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