someone get that fucking seahorse.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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