speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
