Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
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