Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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