then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize