Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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