this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
