we have pet lesbian snakes
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
