I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
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