Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
How drunk are you?
Completed.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
