Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Im part way to drunk.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
