Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
