How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
