kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
