I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize