There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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