C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she woke up with a sticky ear
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
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