margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
