When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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