if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
