We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
