i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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