people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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