he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize