I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
