In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
