I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
