I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
