yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
