ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
