mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
