i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
