i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
