I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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