I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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