Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
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