New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
