I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize